In this article, authorized by Douban user @ bivalent iron ion, before the Zhongguancun No.2 Primary School incident, I talked about this topic with many friends, my friend Xiao Bo Fuwa.
before the Zhongguancun second Primary School incident, I talked about this topic with many friends. My friend Xiao Bo Fuwa also told me before that she was pushed down the stairs when she was a child, but she turned back to find someone to blame, but she did not know who did it; she was once locked up in the hospital morgue for an afternoon, and the bullying incident was very frightening because she committed a group crime and could not find anyone to be held accountable. Combined with my own experience and the memories of my friends around me, being bullied as a child is almost a very common experience, from excessive to the cruelty and malice of children suffered by little Bofuwa, to an ordinary group of people who take the lead in isolating you, and so on. Few people say that they have never been bullied, which makes me almost wonder whether those bullying children are unable to live to adulthood or something, and they are all gone.
therefore, Xiao Bo Fuwa believes that "fighting back" is not a good way to solve the problem, when you do not know who is doing evil, or when your bullying is not so serious that the other person harms you physically. How do you "fight back"? You don't even know who did it, so hit who? How can you beat a group of people? I'm just isolating you. Are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Wait, wait.
as for me, I am a child of a teacher. My mother was a "leisure reader" in our school at that time. She was in charge of music and art classes in almost the whole school, including our class, and at the same time, she was also responsible for the work of the Young Pioneers. At the same time, she also teaches in the kindergarten affiliated to the primary school. But, even so, I was still bullied for a very long time when I was in primary school. In fact, I knew at that time that the head teacher acquiesced in and deliberately encouraged this bullying, because when the June 1st was approaching, the head teacher would ask my mother (my mother would specially arrange performances for our class because I was in this class, and she was very capable in this respect, so as long as she had her, she would win the prize. As a result, our class has numerous awards, which is very useful for the head teacher's assessment.) and interfere with my long-term bullying in the class, my life will be much easier during this period of time.
how did I finally solve this problem? It is precisely the very simple and brutal method of "calling back". Can't find the culprit? Well, I think everyone who may know the truth of this matter will be retaliated by me. Children have a lot of means of revenge, tearing books, folding pencils, throwing ink bottles, all of which are variants of "fighting back". If a group of people beat me, I try to run first, but when everyone is alone, I will remember to retaliate one by one. If I am less powerful than I am, I will find a chance to catch others out of sight and "fight back". Those who are stronger than me "fight back" in front of the teacher. (yes, you can also jump out and hit people in class. If the teacher scolds you, it doesn't matter. Just say that this person and so-and-so hit you at when and where, so you have to call back and so on. At this time, the teacher can't let the strong child beat you, and at the same time, he is warning everyone that you are not a weak person. If I was beaten by a person in private, I would be dealt with in the same way as a group of people in front of me; if I was beaten by a person in public, I would "fight back" on the spot, regardless of my strength, not only those who hit me at that time, but also those who were present who did not help me. All retaliate back. Until everyone around me understands that if they don't help me if I have a conflict with anyone, they will pay the price. Yes, this is very "unreasonable" and "making a mountain out of a molehill". It is actually no different from the people who bully us, but so what? I'm not gonna be the loser one!
so my head teacher has a great headache, because my performance is to "fight the whole class." but fortunately, I have a mother who fully trusts me, and every time I find my parents after a fight, my mother will "apologize" to the head teacher herself and promise to go home and educate me, but when she comes home to me, she will ask me why, once I find out that it is not my fault in the first place, even if I deliberately magnify the incident later. "overreact" will specially praise or even reward me. And she is a school teacher, there will be many channels to know whether I am lying, when it is not clear whether I am lying, she will choose to trust me based on her long-term trust with me. Before I solved the matter of being bullied, she praised me for countless small snacks and toys that resisted bullying. In fact, in my memory, I never took the initiative to bully any of my classmates, which most of my classmates can prove by their memories in adulthood.
after these years, no one dared to bully me blatantly since the third and fourth grade of primary school, and I also had very good friends. At the same time, because I was suffering from bullying, even if it was not directed against me in the class, I would immediately stop it. This habit has been maintained until high school. In fact, many of my classmates have benefited from it. I have always been proud of this: in my class, at least I can say that bullying is relatively rare, because as long as I see it, I will do it.
there's really nothing my mother can do but encourage and reward me behind my back. Children have the "rivers and lakes" of children, and many roads can only be trickled through by themselves. Institutionalized punishment can be reduced in part, but it still cannot be completely stopped. For every parent, I think the only thing I can do is: if your child is prone to violence, stop him, educate him, and prevent him from becoming a bully. If your child is the object of bullying, you must do your best to support him, trust him, and encourage him to "fight back" and attract the attention of people around him, especially teachers, by expanding the incident. the first time to teach him the cruelty and irrationality of the world, learn the jungle social survival law of "crying children have milk to eat". At the same time, your children's trust in you is not cultivated overnight, so that your children really regard you as a friend. Any bullying is becoming more and more serious, and there are just signs of bullying.When it's not serious, you need to make sure that your child will tell you the first time, so that you have time to teach him how to deal with it.
and my primary school classmates still joke that I was "fierce" when I was a child and hit a lot of people, but as long as I asked, "Why did I hit people at that time, did I take the initiative to hit people?" At the same time, they often have nothing to say. Especially when they had children and began to worry that their children might be bullied, they also began to realize the value of having a "nosy" character like me in the class. I am "making a mountain out of a molehill", "a little thing" will "upset the whole class", but if it was not me or other children who were bullied, but their children, would they still stand idly by as they did then? even booing around with the malice of watching the hustle and bustle?
Children are the closest to the jungle society. here, you must educate your children, as my mother taught me from an early age: do not bully other children at school, but if other children bully you, no matter what way, you have to call back and make him cry!
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